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September 29th, 2005

09:22 am: so, what? I don't matter anymore?
I hate unreachable people.
I hate unattainable people.
I hate unattractive people. Don't let me mislead you- I mean attractive in ways looks don't even touch.
I hate .... gosh, i don't hate anyone. Not really.
I just hate who I am right now and the way my life is going.

I had such a good dream about my mom last night. For the first time in a very long time, I remember it and it was great. And it makes me miss her even more.

August 4th, 2005

06:00 am: Once more, forever til the end of the time, homebound.
So my weekend plans vanished as quickly as they began. But that's OK. I am going to babysit Mindy's kids, I HOPE, so I'll be still be gone most of the weekend.

I am going crazy staying here. My brother woke me up at 4:00 P.M. I do not have to be awake until 5-5:30. And I was going off on him, causing him to go off on me.
THEN when I do wake up, I find that suddenly I no longer had 9 cigarettes. I had 4. BECAUSE HE FUCKING STOLE 5!

To make matters worse, I was tired. Had interrupted sleep which makes anyone cranky. Then I had NO money, not at all, to replace the cigarettes he stole. I may be able to go awhile without smoking, but not at work.

So I took one of my dad's checks and am going to tell him Marc stole it. When he says, "He did?" I will say, "Might as well have! He stole my cigarettes causing me to steal a check to buy more cigarettes."

Fuck him.

August 2nd, 2005

06:13 am: All in a day's work
It is expensive to go to Australia! $2063 for a roundtrip ticket was the cheapest I saw. I will have to work roughly 12 days overtime to pay for it. That's not bad considering the fact I am only going to save the money I get from overtime. I am not going to use my regular pay to go towards it. If I were to do that I wouldn't have to work overtime, or at least as much. But I really, really want to do this. Problem is the days that work best for Paul and I aren't necessarily the best flight wise. lol

See, I want to leave January 15th. I work that day, but I want to leave that night after work. But none of the times work. And it will take two days (with layovers lasting 10-14 hours) to get there and only a day to get back! lol Hopefully I can work something out.

I want to go ahead and get my passport and apply for my VISA. If I am approved for the VISA then I will go ahead and purchase the ticket and deal with work later. I only get 40 hours vacation and since I work 12 hour shifts that gives me 3.5 work days off. I want to see if I can do them in 10 hour increments, or even 8 hours, to where I will get a full 4-5 days off. That will lengthen my stay greatly.

If I don't go to Indiana this weekend I am going to go get my passport on Friday, as long as it's good through at least February and I'll get it in time to send off to get the visa and get it back by December.

You can apply for a VISA or an ETA (electronic travel something), but either way you need to show them your passport first. From my understanding a VISA is basically a sticker on your passport. The ETA shows up on a computer that the people at the airport in the country you are visiting can look up. I assume it is the airport that does it.

Assuming I go to Australia at all, if the ride is pleasant, the trip is pleasant, I think when I go to college it will be for international business. Anything that will let me travel. Maybe a travel agent? lol

For now, I better get going. It's 9A.M. and I've got to try to make myself sleep for work tonight. Day 1 of 12 for overtime! Actually.. I'm using this money to get a cell. So scratch that..Day 1 of 13.

Oh, does anyone know how much $1000 converts to in Australia money?!

July 7th, 2005

09:52 pm: headache
I am going to Rome. Yup, yup.. Now all I have to do is get the money before the deal is over, save up the money, get a visa....hahah But I am going to ROME!!...I hope.

June 30th, 2005

08:07 pm: 'This is not your fucking house'
ugh. i hate od sometimes. I typed out an entry at my new diary (just for private stuff, mainly), selected all, clicked 'copy' and now it won't paste here!

nm. Paul told me how. :)

The title of this entry were the words that came out of my dad's mouth to me earlier. Sooooo...ok then.

I am pretty darn sick right now and I don't know why. I went to Michigan feeling fine. Wake up Sunday morning feeling like I had a sore throat. By today my chest is killing me, my nose is snot filled, and I have a cough..bleh!

On a different note, my sis and I saw Land of the Dead today. It was alright. I probably would have enjoyed it more if I had been feeling better.

But that's not the point of this entry. I want to write about my trip to Michigan.

I was planning on calling into work Thursday night anyway, but to make things more realistic somehow my dad's Expedition (what I had been driving) got two flat tires! Okay then.

So I wake up, find that the tires were flat and my bro wasn't lying to me. I called my sister so she could lend me her car so I could get my check, cash it, and get to my hair appointment. I got it cut some and dyed darker with some red in it. I go on the 9th to get highlights..Go me!

After my appointment I pick up Lisa, we head to Maryville to pick up Maci. Boy was she ready to go! So excited.

Long story short we left sometime after midnight Thursday night. The kids slept most of the night. But Maci is so cute. Apparently my brother (older) told her we were going to Mellony's in Michigan so she asked where we were going. I said, "Ninny and Papa's." She goes, "Ugh! I thought we were going to Michigan!" I explained yes, yes we were. And she says, "Nooooo. Mellony's!" I explained we would see Mellony tomorrow. I also had to explain that Michigan is a bigggg piece of land with all kinds of houses and people on it.

We arrived at my grandparents' house at 10:30a.m. and visited for awhile then went to Wal-Mart to get cams and a wedding gift for Mellony and Chip. I also bought the Jack Johnson. I love him.

When we get back there is a car from Illinois in the driveway. My great aunt and uncle were there. I had no idea they would be there so that was good.

Finally my aunt DeeDee shows up. She asked if Maci wanted to go to Mellony's with her to help and she said, "no." I said, "Maci, I thought you wanted to go to Mellony's?" She said, "That's TOMORROW!" lol I love her. After all that we took a nap. Maci and I froze and we woke up cuddling eachother. I love cuddling Maci. We rub eachother's back and there is nothing better than waking up in the arms of someone you love. And although she is not mine, she is still blood and I would do/give anything for her.

To keep this entry from going on and on, I am going to pretty much bullet it.

We had a cookout Friday night. My Aunt Cheryl, her boyfriend, Aunt DeeDee, Ninny&Papa, cousin Sarah, her husband, their three children, aunt and uncle patterson, cousin pj, his friend chris, lisa, marc, maci, and i were all there. It was awesome and the food was great.

Afterwards we went swimming. That was fun. Then we decided to stay the night at Sarah's. Had I known she lived in ghetto ass Pontiac I wouldn't have gone. That place scares me. Especially with my neice.

Saturday we woke up and got ready. I chose my white "flirty" skirt and orange, V-neck tank top. The "V-neck" is important because everytime I bent down everyone got a nice view of my boobs. Then Maci was climbing on top of me and put her foot there, pulling my shirt down on one side.

But we had a blast! As soon as Mellony's daughter, Madison (age 7) saw me, she came and gave me the biggest hug. I'm her fave..haha :) Mel and Chip looked beautiful. When the DJ announced them and they walked in I about died. She was in a dress, with make up on, and her hair done. That is NOT Mellony. lol

They also had a bartender. Obviously the drinks were free to us. I had pina coladas, strawberry daqs, and tried a margarita. We did the chicken dance, marcarena, electric slide, etc. Maci caught the bouquet and she sang karoke! She said "Since U Been Gone" with Madison. SOoooo cute!

Chris, PJ's friend, was soooooo cute. I knew he was under 21, but I thought he was like 19 or 20 so I kept getting him drinks. Loser is only l6! I almost died. I was so sure I was going to jail.

Anyway- it was a good night. Very good night. Sunday wasn't. Maci and Marc fought almost all the way home. I kept telling him he was 14 years old and she was 4. He shouldn't let her get to him like that, but he did.

We stopped in Williamsburg, KY to check out a college that Lisa is interested in and we loved it. Really beautiful. We almost died there, also. lol We were checking out some guys and the car in front of us suddenly stopped so I had to slam on my breaks and yeah..We squeeled some tires.

But really, it was a blast. All the way there we listened to "Boombastic", "Dunkie Butt", "Daisy Dukes" etc.. On the way home it was all Jack Johnson. Mhmm.

Well I tried to shorten it, but besides the drive home, it was awesome. Not something I want to make any shorter than it was already was. lol

Oh well. Night.

btw- Paul said he'd marry me if I wanted to move to Australia. WooHoo!...lol

June 8th, 2005

01:05 am: busy bee
So I've been a busy bee lately!

Last Thursday I got to go out with Mindy and I. We went to eat at Los Amigos and had yummy Nachos Machos.

Afterwards we headed up I40 in Knoxville to look for the Henley St exit..Apparently, we should have taken I40-275 because there is not a Henley St exit on I40. Our bads. Instead we took what we thought was Papermill Drive (there are always accidents on that damn road), but apparently it was the wrong Papermill Exit as well because it did NOT take me to Northshore, like the other one does. And it's under all kinds of f'ing construction, you couldn't see shit because of the rain and it sucked all around.

We found Middlebrook Pike and found a gas station. The lady told us how to get to Kingston Pike and we finally made it to Market Square for Sundown in the City. We parked off Union St again, walked up to Gay St, crossed over to Market Square. What sucked is the concert was over and it started raining.

We made our way back to Gay St and took cover. Across the street was a pretty hopping bar called Downtown Grill and Brewery. They had a live band and there were tons of people there.

After meeting an interesting, extremely drunk guy who called us "fucking pussies" for not kissing him, we crossed over, entered the bar and the fun begin. It was awesome! SO awesome. The band rocked. We met the lead singer and got their CD which I play practically nonstop. I am in love..Haha

Overall- it was fun.

Saturday morning after work Jake, Eddie, and I went jumping again. It was amazing. Absolutely amazing. I hurt my butt pretty badly. It actually has bruises! lol Hit the water a little hard, that's it. :P

Today Jereca, Lee, Lisa, Eddie, Annie, Jake, and I went. Jake showed up late, but oh well. Lisa didn't jump so we had to help her climb down the rocks. Jereca, too, but later she jumped. She bruised her butt, too. Worse than mine, I believe.

Lee jumped with no problems. And I. Well, I was scared for a minute..haha.. But the water was amazing. Absolutely amazing.

And now it's back to work in 14 hours. Jake told me everyone is talking shit about me and I'll probably be moved. I wanted to be moved anyway, but it hurt my feelings. That I am hated that much. It's not my work, can't be. I work as hard as everyone else, if not harder than everyone else! Forget them. Screw them. But it hurts my feelings.

Oh well. Thursday night Jake, Andrew, and I leave for Bonnaroo. VERY excited about that.

Probably update on Monday or Tuesday. :)

May 23rd, 2005

09:40 am: about time, eh?
Wow...So much has been going on around here. So much.
My friend Jake's Blazer got broken into while we were cliff jumping on Saturday. He had over 150 CDs stolen and his $160 brand new skateboard. My purse was stolen. It containted $150 cash, my checkbook, debit card, credit card, NEW cell phone, insurance cards, ss card, driver's license, my MAC lipgloss!! I love that lipgloss. I also had like 6 million pens in there. Frequent Buyer's cards, receipts.
I bought my brother a shirt and hat from PacSun and the receipts are in there. I bought Jake a shirt from Hot Topic for his birthday, the receipt for that was in there. grrrrrrrrrrr

Other than that, work. My concert is in 18 days. Two weeks from FRIDAY!!!! :) So excited am I. Jake and I got our tickets for it Friday.
That is going on my first weekend off for June. The second weekend off in June I am going to Michigan. Go me! Busy month June will be.

I know this is short and I know I owe you two many updates and catching up on your guys' journals, but I need to take a shower then call Jake...LOVE YOU BOTH!

May 6th, 2005

06:32 pm: hey there loo loo
Guess who I am talking to? Paul! :D I've not talked to him in ages and finally we're online together at the same time. Yay.

Guess who else I talked to a few days ago (and they never called me back)? CHARLIE!!! Mister Jimi himself. Yup, yup, yup. We had a nice, but all too short conversation.

Work sucks. Ok, it don't suck, but the people do. Word is Tommy is quitting next week. I did believe him, but now I don't. Gloria hasn't been bad either since she named person-in-charge on the soldering line..hahaha

hmm..What else? Oh. I could kill my brother. I could. Not really, but I could hurt him really bad if I knew I wouldn't hate myself for it later. He is such a pain in the ass.

I just found out someone very, very dear to me has moderate and sever dysplasia and pre-cancerous cells at the young age of 22. She's freaking out. It's probably nothing, probably turn into nothing, but still. I am pretty sure Mom had mild dysplasia and pre-cancerous cells and look how that turned out. I need to call my aunt and find out.

Also, my sister's best friend (and a good friend of mine) is pregnant at age 17. She just found out. I am scared and excited for her, as is she.

And my best friend's sister and her husband found out they are expecting a boy!!! They've obviously known she was pregnant for awhile, but now they know it's a boy!! They are going to name him Evan David. :) Very pretty. I like Ethan David better, but there is already a cousin or nephew or something named Ethan.

Anyway- very short boring entry but it's bedtime..How sad is that? Bed at 945 pm! LOL


April 15th, 2005

10:26 pm: tired days.
I am going to Bonnaroo!!!!!!!!!!!

I bought my ticket today, well, yesterday. $194.00 for three days of concert filled fun! SO excited.
It's on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (june 10-12). Jake and I are leaving Thursday (the 9th) at midnight from work, driving the hours to get there, standing in line, then bam! FUN!

I even dreamt about it. It was really hard putting out $194 to something I don't see (the ticket will arrive in May), but I am almost 100% positive it will be worth it. Hell, just the car ride with Jake will be worth it. lol He is hilarious!

My hair is getting so long. I went to get it trimmed today, but instead I spent $40 onpants and two shirts to wear to Bonnaroo. So it came down to getting my hair trimmed or buying Flea & Tick drops for Marley. I chose the latter.

My sister's prom is next week! I can't believe that one week away she will be going to her junior prom. One year from this month she will be going to her senior prom.
In May my little brother will be 14. In August he will go to high school. The same month my sister turns 17. *sigh* SO weird.

I called Jeff a million times today to see if he wanted to meet so I could get my lap top. I was also going to see if he wanted to go to Knoxville with me (this was before I spent all my money) because I didn't want to go alone. I am pretty sure Jennifer worked tonight and if not, she had plans with Shaun.

Ok, so this entry has sat here for awhile and nothing else comes to mind right now. lol Will write soon :)

April 12th, 2005

01:27 am: 'it was sort of....an accidental blowjob'
I am watching Prozac Nation with Christina Ricci. I missed the first 10 minutes, but so far it's good. Not earth shattering, but good. Different. Certain parts, the way they were filmed, make me sick.

Anywho- this guy at work, Jake, is so cool. I am in love with him. Not really. I am not interested in him being my boyfriend. I don't even think I'd have sex with him. But he is so funny. SO funny. Definitely makes work go by faster. We were supposed to get our tattoos on the same day, but nooo. He never got his. lol He is actually supposed to go today or this weekend.

He was also telling me about Bonaroo (sp?). Apparently a bunch of people are supposed to be there. Kind of like Woodstock. I guess it's going to be out in Manchester. You just camp out for like 3 days and listen to live music from all different kinds of stages.

Charlie, how close are you to Manchester, Tennessee?

Anyway- it's suppposed to be this summer sometime, 3 days, $160. He said if we go together I need to start training now on being high all the time.. lol I think I can do without, but it does sound like a blast.

I was giving Greg, at work, a hard time the other night about Maria. She's married, but is known to be a whore. Anyway- she was talking about how Greg is so hot, and soo built. And his muscles. Carrying on and on. So at break I tell Greg. He said she is mad because he wouldn't go out with her. He's very selective..Guess I should feel special.. haah At one point, he did like me. Don't know if that still stands. lol

Later on, though, we were supposed to be doing rework at the gas hearth where Greg was operating, checking form and such. Maria was all up on him. So we were walking, him to the break area and me to the computer room, and I asked where his chain was. He said, "my chain?" I replied, "Yeah. The one Maria has around your neck." He said, "She don't have no chain around my neck!" I'm like, "Yeah, but she wants one!" lol

Well, boys, I'm going to run. Chatting with Joel now then I think I am going to bed. Miss you both and Charlie, I will be calling in a day or two! When is the best time?

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